Memorial Evening 2008

5768/2008 Memorial Evening
marking the 13th Yahrzeit of Etta Ehrman Kossowsky z.l.

True to form, on Shevat 23rd, the Yahrzeit of Etta Yonit bat moreinu ha Rav Zvi Ehrman, the snow arrived in Israel. Notwithstanding, some fifty people came to remember Etta on this, the annual Memorial Evening held in Bet Shemesh. It was particularly appreciated that Nechama Barash, our guest speaker, made it, risking the imminent weather problems.

Esther Ehrman welcomed everyone. Noting that Etta's Yahrzeit always falls on Parashat Yithro or Mishpatim, she considered one of the many links between these two sedras. The Israelite slaves were brought out of Egypt, not in order to be free but in order to 'serve' G-d and, at the Revelation at Mount Sinai, in Yithro, their 'new' Master states what kind of person He wishes for His service: one who does not murder or steal, who honours his parents, one who is mindful of his new Master by enjoying Shabbat and giving Him his undivided loyalty. In Mishpatim, we are instructed in some of the obligations that will regulate the society envisaged. To start with, the ex-slaves are shown the limitation of any future slavery, one which will never take up all, or even much of a lifetime. Applying these commandments will help us on the way to deserving the highest honorific, given to Moses, eved HaShem. Esther saw the function of the Etta Kossowsky Study Groups to be learning in depth those Torah instructions

Esther reported on the fairly healthy state of the finances of the Etta Kossowsky Fund, then welcomed the Guest Speaker, Nechama Barash, a scholar, versed in Talmud and dedicated to teaching its values.

Michi Kossowsky opened the learning with a 'devar Torah' on tefilla, prayer. Basing his thoughts on Rav Soloveitchik's Worship of the Heart and an essay by Rabbi Joshua Amaru, Michi raised the question: what is it that we are doing when we pray? We understand from Biblical and Rabbinic sources that the Almighty wants us to pray - as witness the repeated occasions when our 'mothers' were unable to have children until prayers by or for them were answered by G-d. Prayer, Michi said, is the process of prophecy in reverse, in that the conduit, the escalator, as it were, here leads up from below, from man. Michi noted the danger inherent in rigid models of prayer and the value of dialogue as Chassidut understands it.

The subject of the Guest Speaker's talk was 'Brurya, - setting the record straight'. Nechama showed Brurya, the learned, authoritative halachist, as e.g giving an opinion on an impure oven (Messechet Kelim), a compassionate wife, as in the story where her two sons die and she has to break the news to the father (Midrash Mishlei) and the aggressive defender of textual understanding, intolerant of those who fail to see her point ("you fool…" Mesechet Berakhot). Was Brurya really the wife of Rabbi Meir and the daughter of Rabbi Hananya Ben Teradyon, as tradition, based on sources in the Babylonian Talmud has it? Nechama showed that this is not as unequivocal as is usually thought. There are texts that speak of 'the wife' of R.Meir (e.g., Midrash Mishlei),'the daughter' of R.Hananya b.Teradyon. There is even a source (Talmud Yerushalmi, Mesechet Demai), that speaks of R.Meir having a different father-in law, not Brurya's father. It is the Babylonian Talmud that mostly mentions Brurya by name and also names her husband and father. Without these sources, the record is open to question.

In his 'devar Torah', Rabbi Dr Ekstein stressed the difference in the tenor of the two sedras, Yithro and Mishpatim. In Yithro, when The Almighty reveals Himself at Mount Sinai, the atmosphere is overwhelming. The response of the Israelites is given in fear and awe. The tone in Mishpatim is very different. Since the commandments here largely determine the relations of human beings to one another, dealing with matters such as social equality, the people need to relate to these mishpatim with calm understanding. It is this same concern, to make the Torah accessible, that determines the tone used here, as it determined the advice given at the beginning of Yithro to Moses by his father-in-law.

A final devar Torah was given by Eli Ehrman, who took as his subject the story of Joseph and his brothers. Why, Eli asked, did the Torah tell this particular tale? Is the favouritism shown to Joseph by his father there to tell us that Jacob saw the line of Judaism continuing through Joseph? Is it a matter of lack of communication ? Why is the teshuva, the reform of Joseph's brothers here? Did Joseph simply want to ensure that Benjamin came to him? Eli did not offer answers to these questions. We are in the dark because, throughout the account, G-d does not speak, as earlier he had done to the patriarchs. The generation of Joseph, like our own generation, was left to figure things out. Given human nature and failing a direct communication, the Jewish people needs to face the challenge of behaving in accordance with the brit, the covenant that we are committed to. Etta, z.l., her brother recalled, was always very clear about what she thought was required and wholly committed to it.

The evening ended with friends chatting about Etta and about the learning while enjoying refreshments in the home of Lauri and Michi Kossowsky.

Memorial Evening 2007

5767/2007 Memorial Evening
marking the 12th Yahrzeit of Etta Ehrman Kossowsky z.l.

Le illui nishmat Etta Yonit bat moreinu haRav Zvi Ehrman, an evening of Torah learning was held on Etta's twelfth Yahrtzeit, 23rd Shevat/10th February, in Bet Shemesh in the Feigenson Synagogue.

Etta's mother welcomed some forty people, mainly family and friends of Etta's. Recalling the verse on Etta's grave, 'You shall do that which is right and good in the eyes of the Lord' ('be einei H'), Esther reminded people how appropriate that verse is for the learning in the Etta Study Groups. Other nations know about right and good; what we are being commanded to do is to apply these values as defined and sanctioned by the Lord (be einei H') and understanding that is what the learning is all about, whether a group is looking at the TeNaCh, Midrash, Gemara, Tephilla or Sefer HaChinuch.

Reporting on the finances of the Etta Kossowsky Fund, Esther reassured people that the learning was not likely to stop soon. Although, the Fund had a shortfall of a little over 6,000NIS for the year 2006, the Fund has accumulated sufficient money to weather this.

Etta's husband, Michi opened the learning with a 'devar Torah' on different ways of trying to bring Judaism 'up to date'. Our sages achieved this when they enacted the 'prosbul' or instituted 'mechirat chametz'. The question arises, does bringing Judaism up-to-date entail bringing in alien culture. The haredi world has addressed such questions as the place of television or the Internet. Other, orthodox, Jews tend to make individual decisions, relying on 'their' Judaism to guide them. The problem of integrating Western culture, with its cult of the self, its intellectualism and rationalism, is not straightforward. Like fire, it is useful, but needs to be watched. Eastern culture may offer us a possible model. It encourages self-effacement before the divine. It allows space for the 'other' and for G-d.

The distinguished guest speaker of the evening was Rabbanit Gila Weinberg. Her topic was 'Josef and Esther; Jews at the Palace'. Rabbanit Weinberg took the audience on a fascinating comparison of the two stories. She began with a literary exercise, showing how a good introduction of a character will imply features that condition the character's responses in the development of a story. Thus when we read Genesis, ch 36, we are introduced to Josef: haya ro'eh et achav, he 'shepherded' his brothers, a feature that is indicative of his future leadership. The account continues ve naar et benei Bilha, he was youthful with the sons of Bilhah; implying that he treated the sons of the servant Bilha as equals, perhaps showing an innate sense of justice, - very necessary for the future politician.

Likewise, in chapter 2 of Megillat Esther, we see the apparently helpless orphan, Esther that Mordechai takes into his household as a daughter. She is ' beautiful and fair to look upon'; the double expression underlines the importance of Esther's good looks; they are essential to the development.

Gila pointed out the significant similarities in the two texts. Both Josef and Esther are endowed with the gift of 'finding grace' in the eyes of others, be they Pharaoh or Ahasuerus. For both, clothing, the outer self, plays an important role. Both stories feature a change of status, a ring that seals this, and much more. Both are fully aware of their mission to save the Jewish people from a calamity. A major feature of both characters is their youth; the introductions speak of both Josef and Esther as naar, naarah, a youth We remember them both as somehow for ever young. And 'for ever young' is how we remember Etta, Gila said. Etta was the young woman with an impact on many people, young and old, an impact that resulted from her personality, her caring personality.

Etta's brother, Eli Ehrman, spoke of the requirement to understand, vital for the advent of the Ge'ula. Redemption is not just something that needs to be deserved. If we do not understand G-d's revelation, we are not ready and the Ge'ula will fail, as it has failed in the past. Why else would the miracle of crossing the Red Sea be immediately followed by the question, ' Why did G-d bring us out of Egypt?' We have not understood why people may suffer, even though G-d has revealed Himself, . We need to understand what G-d does in our world and the logical necessity of suffering in that context. And we need to apply our free will, to choose to accept the truth.

Memorial Evening 2017

The Annual Memorial Evening of Learning on the 22nd Yahrzeit of Etta Ehrman Kossowsky featured guest speaker Dr Perele Ekstein, who gives her lecture on ‘The Anaesthesiologist as Gatekeeper; ethical dilemmas’.

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